Day Twelve

I watched a TV show this afternoon about young women giving up their babies for adoption. The show doesn't gloss over the pain these girls feel giving up their children. In fact whenever I watch this show I always think the young mom is going to change her mind and keep the baby. So far the babies have all been adopted.

The show gives a little bit of background on the young moms. They come from all sorts of different situations and often the father of the baby is still in the picture. I wish they'd delve more deeply into why these girls felt adoption was the way to go. Perhaps some of them did schedule an abortion but when they got to the clinic there were Pro Life people there with offers of support and help (we can hope!)

A lot of times we hear about 'saves' during 40 Days for Life. This is our goal of course - to save the life of a baby and to keep the mom from having to suffer the trauma of abortion that can often last for years and years. But let's be honest and realize not all these moms are in situations where a baby can thrive. That doesn't mean the baby should be aborted - I am not suggesting this at all! But this is where adoption or foster care could offer a good alternative.

So why isn't adoption more common?  For many women the thought of giving their child away is an impossible choice. So why would they abort if they care so much? From what I found out these women say it gives them 'closure'. Adoption would bring a lifetime of doubt, worry and wondering where there child is, did they choose the right adoptive parents, will they run into their child someday or will that child show up at an awkward time, especially if mom hasn't told subsequent younger siblings, her parents or husband. Understandable but shortsighted. Abortion is a 'quick fix' but with lifelong consequences.

While many women report relief after abortion (several post-abortive friends have told me this) I've also seen lives ruined by abortion. One case in particular has seen the abortive parents estranged from a number of family members. This couple believe they have kept their situation secret and the amount of energy they have devoted to staying in denial and keeping the family members that know at a 'safe' distance from them is taking its toll on their marriage and their physical health. It's absolutely heart breaking.

When I stand at Mills Memorial with my 40 Days sign around my neck I try to remember that every situation does not have a 'one size fits all' solution. However, where there is LIFE there is hope and there is no problem so difficult that we cannot overcome it with love and faith in God.

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Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. 1 Chronicles 28:30